Great Buttercup-festival themed Facebook Statuses.

These are a bunch of facebook statuses I''m going to use, because I LOVE Buttercup Festival.

Cole:
is thinking: "Man, I just can't get enough of eating dirt! I sure hope I don't drown in a puddle!"
is sitting at home with his best friend the flower pot.
is painting his house with oil.
needs to get an endearing orphaned street urchin out of his chimney.
really doesn't care how they make hotdogs.
haz two yaks.
actually tripped, and now all the fish are smiling.
is writing: Dear Coldplay. I'm sending you a pie I baked. Don't worry, I'd never try to poison you. Sincerely, Cole."
is writing songs in the key of music.
's sign is a sandwich.
wants everything on his pizza. He wants PIZZA on his pizza. And yes, he wants your ASS on his pizza.
wishes he had a weird name like "Fuzziwick."
is feeding rocks to pigeons. Maybe if they can't fly away, I can dance with them.
is the star of the 75 meter bubble race.
says CHECK IT OUT RODNEY, THE SECOND GRADE TEE BALL JOCK! I'M A FAIRY PRINCESS!
has trinoculars. For his nose. ... man that dog smells.

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Meeting the UPS man

Last week I found out I could camp out in the loft above my front door and talk to people from above through a small crack. This is an especially efficient way of dealing with Mormons, as most of the kids think the ghost of Satan is talking to them and scurry away in fear. Yesterday I made the mistake of frightening the UPS man.

Tomorrow he's going to come with a shotgun. I'll keep you posted.

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The more you say "Lemon," the more stupid it sounds.

Lemons, I have decided, are the most important fruit. I cannot back this up with any facts, however: I have never had an actual lemon.

What kind of country is this where there are more lemon substitutes than actual lemons? I say "country" because I'm sure in many other countries besides the U.S. there are lots of lemons.

Off topic: Almost like lemons would be a very cool name for a band.

Some actual facts about LEMONS:
# of google results for "Artificial Lemon:" 511,000
# of google results for "Real Lemon:" 492,000

I worry I will never taste a real lemon in my lifetime. I pray a day will come when a person will not have to live in Nigeria to taste an actual citrus fruit.

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Octavion

Alright, so John and I are making a game. Details are still being worked out, but it will feature:

-Upgrades for weapons (laser sight, etc.)
-Tons o guns.
-Intelligent, evolving AI.
-Changes in time
-Zork porn

Ok, that last one is a lie, but it will be codenamed "Project Octavion" for now. The reason for the codename will be published soon.

What is an applefish?

Applefish, unlike rockfish and pennyfish, float to the top of the water upon birth and promptly die of asphyxiation. How to species continues to thrive is yet another mystery yet to be solved.

This blog has very little to do with applefish.